Success and the Shy Girl Podcast

These are not the droids you’re looking for…

Episode

Sep 6, 2017

Any other Star Wars nerds here? We’re excited for winter because it means Star Wars movie time this year. And there may or may not be costumes involved when we go. On opening night. Because I also married a Star Wars nerd.

I have always wanted to be a Jedi (of course). Or at least since I became an entrepreneur, so I could use some cool Jedi mind tricks to bend success to my will (and light sabers are pretty rad too). Since I can’t be a Jedi and use mind tricks for real, I guess I’ll settle for the next best thing: mindset. And since I won’t actually be altering someone else’s free will, I feel pretty comfortable with using cool mindset tricks (on myself).

Since I’m no Obi Wan..

Lucky for me, the next four weeks are going to be focused specifically on mindset so I get to really dig deep and understand how mindset impacts success and share with you along the way.

If you haven’t read Carol Dweck’s book “Mindset: The New Psychology of Success” AND you’re struggling as an introvert in business or entrepreneurship, I am going to very highly recommend you either pick up a copy at the bookstore or library. And then of course, read it. You won’t regret it at all.

What I want to share with you today is the underlying message of her work and how introverts might be trapping themselves in a specific mindset. She describes two types of mindsets; fixed and growth.

Like Apples and Oranges

Essentially, she describes a fixed mindset as a belief that your qualities (like intelligence, personality or moral character) are fixed, like a stone carving. That means that these qualities can’t possibly evolve; you can only work with what your mama gave you.

A growth mindset, on the other hand, is one in which you believe your qualities (like intelligence, personality or moral character) are cultivated through experience and effort.

I’d let you guess which one is more highly correlated with achieving goals and success but I’m hoping you’ve already figured it out. It’s a growth mindset.

A Quick Test

A super easy (and quick) way to see if you’re in a fixed or growth mindset is to ask yourself “am I focusing on the outcome or am I focusing on the process?” If you’re focused on the outcome you’re employing a fixed mindset and if you’re focused on the process you are using a growth mindset.

If you are anything like me, as an introvert, I’ve had to unlearn all of the labels I’ve applied to myself since childhood (mostly because introverts are usually deeply misunderstood). I’ve always accepted that I’m shy, a bit a recluse,  not outgoing enough to be successful. I’m not any of those things though just because I’m an introvert. But my belief that I’m those things has held me back and I’d actually say that I’ve used them as an excuse for any failure I’ve experienced.

I have turned failed job interviews into a pity party for myself “I didn’t get that job because I don’t have enough experience/tanked the interview/my pants were too tight”. What I should have been doing is taking those job interviews and learning from them and figured out how I could improve on upcoming interviews. I was focused on the outcome – the job. I should have focused on the process- becoming on up levelling my interview and communication skills and learning what didn’t work so I could try something that might. Or buy better pants.

It’s Like the Song That Never Ends

There’s a great quote about insanity.

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and accepting a different result.

If you’ve trapped in a fixed mindset and are expecting things to change in your career or business, maybe it’s time to take a look at changing and trying something new. As an introvert, even if you weren’t aware before now, have you boxed yourself in and closed yourself off to success? Do these phrases sound familiar?

I can’t do that.

I’m so shy, I can’t talk to that stakeholder/speak up in a meeting.

How am I supposed to succeed in business? I don’t know anyone!

It would take forever to get that done! No way I’m doing that!

She is prettier/smarter/has more money/is just lucky.

If any of the above look familiar because you’ve said them then yes, you’re probably working from a fixed mindset.

Who is society to tell you that you’re a shy recluse who could never hack it in the business world because you’re meek and far too quiet to make yourself heard. Just because you’re an introvert? Pffft. I don’t think so.

I’m not asking you to become an extrovert and change that core sense of personality. I’m asking you to shift your thinking and learn to see your advantages in the business world because only YOU get to define who you are and what you can achieve.

Step One to Shifting Your Mindset

Seems simple to shift you’re mindset right? Understanding there is a growth mindset and a fixed mindset IS simple. Shifting from fixed to growth though, not easy. It takes a lot of practice to not hide back in your comfort zone of thinking. So here’s what we’re going to do. This trick is easy.

I want you to rid yourself of can’t. How? You can slay a can’t with a single word.

YET.

Add yet to your “I can’t” and you’ve taken the first step to shifting towards a growth mindset.

For example:
I can’t afford that….YET.

Do you see the power in yet? You’ve told your brain (oh…back to the brain again) that even though not a current reality, it’s possible.

I’d love to hear from you how this one little shift changes how you see yourself and the world.

Now go out and yet it done (pun fully intended)!

You’re going to want to follow us on Facebook this month if mindset is giving you some grief by clicking the link in this sentence.

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